The Chapter I Had to Close
That’s it.
I’m closing the chapter of my life where I’m searching for love,
where I rely on other people for my happiness.
After getting my heart broken over and over again,
After being rejected again and again,
After realizing that I can’t make anyone interested in me,
After failing to be chosen and have someone choose to stay with me,
After chasing love that never comes to find me,
now I am too ashamed of myself,
and feel too guilty to my God.
Because I keep placing my hopes in His creation,
when I should be placing my hopes in Him, the Creator.
No one would accept me, but Allah.
No one would understand me, but my Lord.
No one would love me, but He loves me in every way that I am.
No one would stay by my side, but He is here with me all the time.
So this is where I finally understand my path clearly.
This is Allah’s answer for me.
It is time for me to return to Him.
To fully surrender to Him.
To rely on Him alone.
If relationships, marriage, or parenthood are not meant for me in this life, then so be it.
I will accept every decree He has written for me.
I know He has prepared something greater for me in the hereafter.
I will wait patiently for my reward in Jannah.
Until then, I will stop chasing and just prepare myself for death,
for the moment I meet the One who created me.