New Year... New Me?
It’s six hours to the new year where I am, right now.
I’m lying on my bed, just playing games, watching series, and replying to some guys on dating apps. Am I pathetic? I don’t know.
Some people are probably getting ready right now. Not only for the New Year celebration, but also for the new them. They’re writing New Year’s resolutions, while reflecting on their achievements for this past year, filling their hearts with fresh hopes for the new year ahead.
Me?
I’ve spent years making resolutions every time the new year comes.
And year after year, I fail to keep them. So maybe this time, I’ll pass.
No resolutions. No promises.
Do I sound too depressed?
Haha. Maybe.
I do have dreams, though. I have hopes too.
But lately, I’m scared to even wish for them to come true.
Sometimes it feels like I’m asking too much from God, while I haven’t been a devoted follower, while I have been a sinner my whole life.
Maybe that’s why some of my wishes were never fulfilled.
I know God listens to my prayers.
I truly believe that.
But there are things I couldn’t have, no matter how badly I wanted them.
Maybe they weren’t meant for me.
Or maybe not yet.
OK I’ll stop here. My thumbs are typing on their own now.
I only wanted to vent about how boring my New Year’s Eve feels.
Somehow, my thoughts drifted into something heavier, almost as if I’m blaming God for my unfortunate life.