Everyone Comes With a Lessons
You know, people say this quote all the time:
“Everything happens for a reason.”
I’ve heard it so often, but I never really think about it deeply before.
Until recently, my life took a turn that made me repeat that quote to myself, over and over again.
Or maybe this one resonates with me more:
“Everyone comes with a lesson.”
I believe it now. Because every time my heart gets broken, I end up learning something new, and always the hard way.
I wrote before that over the past three months, I’ve made a lot of connections with some guys. Enough to make me believe that I had finally found love. But I was wrong. They came into my life only to bring lessons. And my feelings for them, whether it was love or just limerence, I know this much: they were enough to make me cry for days, and enough to make me question my self-worth.
It’s devastating.
I’m tired. Truly.
Yet I can’t seem to stop myself from trying again. From getting hurt again.
It feels like I keep pushing myself to find someone who will love me.
Someone once asked me why I keep using these apps when I’ve had so many negative experiences. Maybe it’s because I’m desperate to be loved. Maybe I’m just too lonely. Too tired of talking to myself. I crave someone’s attention. I want to be seen, to be heard, to be consoled.
And still, they leave. Again and again.
I even try to adjust myself for them, to fit into what they want.
And yet, they never choose to stay.